We live in the era of control: controlling our own thoughts primarily. And it's great when applied to our work, to our dreams, to our journey towards professional success. But it's awful when applied to all the other aspects that make us complete human beings. Yes, we are human beings and not cold droids! Can we really force ourselves into feeling and thinking only positive things? Why do we struggle to get out of the negative feelings the very moment we experience them, or even worse, why do we blame ourselves for feeling them?
When negativity pays us a visit together with all its friends: anger, hurt, jealousy, grudge, regret, sadness, inertia, etc., we should open wide the door of our hearts and welcome them in. They'll settle in our house made of light, and fill it with darkness. They'll feel warm and cosy. We'll feel miserable. Don’t worry! It won't last! Because as sure as a word loses its meaning when repeated continuously, so will the darkness diminish in intensity, and our courage to throw it out will grow. What's more, we'll stop fearing it, because by letting it in, we'll come to know well the enemies within us: we'll know how they ‘think’, how they attack, we'll clearly see our weaknesses and our strengths. We'll grow wiser and immune at their presence. They're like a virus. They infect us and take the best out of us! But the second time, it will be easier. The third even easier, and then, we’ll learn to keep our hearts strong and safe while swimming through the murky waters.
On the contrary, if we try to control and close all the entrances, they'll keep haunting us. Only by acknowledging their presence at the doors of our hearts doesn't mean we face them. They'll get tired of knocking, and we'll mistake their silence with their disappearance. But they will still there concocting a stronger plan of attack, and next time, they'll come stampeding over our whole lives, knocking us down and injuring our souls.
I think that by allowing ourselves to feel deeply all the negative emotions, we become what we are: complex, beautifully imperfect human beings.
Our life is a bird with two wide, colourful wings: one has all the strokes of light, the other one, of darkness. If we cut one of the wings or try to control its movement, the flight will be crippled, and we'll end up smashing against the soil.
Therefore, I plead for being human and humane. I plead for times of anger as well as for times of peace. I plead for times of hate as well as for times of love. But I will never plead for indifference and cold detachment. Indifference means the death of the soul. We are here to feel and learn from our feelings while becoming masters of what to do with what we feel.
I plead for doing our best at staying in and searching for the light, but I will never plead for forcing our way out of darkness, for in the end, darkness always gets tired of itself. We need darkness to recognize light. How can we know one thing if we don't become acquainted with its opposite?
I plead for pain as well as for joy, I plead for sorrow, as well as for happiness.
Life is like a seesaw, and we can't have fun if we sit still only on one of its sides. We need a force on the other side to bring us up or down.
Yes, believe in the good; yes, stay positive; yes, take the lessons from every happening and move on because life goes on, but never blame yourselves for the days when you choose otherwise. Blame, guilt do not take us out of darkness, but force us to dive even deeper in it.
Never forget to be gentle with yourselves! Be human, breathe, have fun and try to do your best! That shall do!
© Copyright 2013 Irina Serban. All rights reserved